3 Ways to Break Up With Your Boyfriend Or Girlfriend
by Susan Russo

"The world is round and the place which may seem like the end may also be the beginning." -Ivy Baker Priest

If you are in a relationship and thinking about the different ways to end this relationship with your partner you have a couple of options.

I've seen a gamut of different ways to breakup with your boyfriend, from the infamous "Dear John" letter, to lying about the reasons why, to the cold and callous text message and then there's the ever so friendly, let's-just-be-friends method.

The truth is there really isn't a great way to say "Good-bye" to someone who loves you and who doesn't want things to end. Always put yourself in their shoes and think about how you would want to be treated.

One of the best ways to end a relationship is to keep it short and sweet. Put your cards on the table in an honest and respectful way and DO NOT keep then hanging on. Not only is it unfair, you wouldn't want someone to do that to you. If it?s over, it?s over. It?s never just kind of over.

THE CLEAN BREAK

The clean break is one of the best ways to breakup with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Your partner may protest, 'Let's at least be friends', but the truth is that it will hurt them more to continue to be around you knowing that you don't want to be with them than it would if you simply cut the ties.

Plus, it keeps them holding onto the hope that maybe, just maybe things might work out.

I think being friends is a good idea, ONLY after they have gotten over you and when they are capable of being JUST your friend.

The toughest part of ending your relationship is sticking to your guns; say what you mean and mean what you say. And spare yourself and them from going through the on again off again routine. You know that this person is hurting and you may have a tendency to want to give in so they don't hurt so much.

The real problems begin if they resist letting go and they keep calling and texting. You can keep talking and texting back, but in the end the outcome will be the same. It will eventually still be over, just a little later than planned.

Since there are so many different ways to end a relationship, you do have some options. But remember, do your best, be honest and treat people how you would like to be treated if the shoe were on the other foot.

HOLDING THEIR HAND

When thinking of the different ways to breakup with your boyfriend or girlfriend the "holding their hand" method only seems to keep YOU stuck longer, but, this is the ultimate in being nice, and it wastes everyone's time. And, it prolongs the inevitable.

Don't forget, these 3 methods are based on the fact that you simply don't feel the same for them anymore. They are really nice people but you've decided to move on and you are simply looking for the best ways to break up with them.

We ARE NOT talking about ways to breakup with the kind of boyfriends or girlfriends who don't deserve to be with you. The kind who aren't respectful and who SHOULD be broken up with, that is a whole other talk show.

Anyway, you hold their hand because you feel sorry for them and don't want to cause them anymore pain than you feel you already have. The reality is that no matter how you slice it, it's going to hurt them.

I see this method of one of the ways to breakup with your boyfriend or girlfriend most often with younger people. They just don't want to be the mean person that goes along with hurting someone, so they suck it up and hold their ex's hand until they can walk again.

The problem I see with this is even though you are broken up you are still having a "sort-of" relationship with them. It's nice to be nice, but eventually they have to accept that fact that it is over and move on.

The irony of it is, after you hold their hand, it typically turns into a clean break in the end anyway.

LEAN AND MEAN

When thinking about the ways to breakup with your boyfriend or girlfriend you have to consider the kind of person you are involved with. If you have a hanger-on, or one who simply won't take no for an answer, it's time to draw the line.

It's unfortunate but sometimes one of the ways to breakup with your boyfriend or girlfriend is that you have to be hard and not allow someone to abuse your kindness and mistake it for weakness.

There are types who will want you to pity them and they'll be the victim just so they can keep you around. Even if the conversations are about why, how could you, please don't leave etc. at least they have your attention.

Some will tell you how mean you are and how they can't believe you can be so cold. They will try everything they can to put you on a guilt trip in hopes that you will wake up and see the light.

The bottom line is you don't even have to look for ways to breakup with your boyfriend or girlfriend. If you don't want to be with them, the sooner you make this crystal clear, the sooner you will both be getting on with your lives.

Sometimes being nice allows them to take advantage of you. Being firm, honest and letting them know that no matter what they say, you aren't going to change your mind is going to help them accept it sooner rather than later.

Let them know that you aren't happy about hurting them and it doesn't make you feel good but it is something that has to be done and that is why you are having this last conversation with them about it.

Be strong and don't give in, it's not easy to hurt someones feelings but what is the alternative? Stay with them so you don't hurt them? I don't think so.

When looking for ways to breakup with your boyfriend or girlfriend, keep in mind that breaking up is hard to do and if you don't keep it short and sweet you will drag out the pain and heartache and who needs that?

Warm wishes…Susan

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