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How to Make a Child Custody Agreement
The documents that outline all of the information about child custody are contained in a child custody agreement. A child
custody agreement consists of the plan for custody and visitation, how much time the children spend with each parent,
a plan of where the children will spend their holidays, and parenting provisions and stipulations. The process of creating
the agreement begins when the custody case starts and ends when the agreement is accepted by the court. The court then makes
the agreement into a custody order and the documents are legally binding. Thus, the parents must obey the terms of the order
or they can be held in contempt of court.
Parents can go about making their agreement in a few different ways. If the parents can work together and cooperate, they
can make the parenting agreement themselves with
both parents agreeing to it. This is by far the easiest way. The parents merely turn in their agreement to the courts and
it is accepted. A mother and father who have a hard time working together can attend custody mediation to get help making
their agreement. Mediation is generally successful and those parents can submit the agreement to the court. In other cases,
the parents both hire attorneys and they take care of the agreement with input from the parents. In extreme cases, when parents
simply cannot agree on any terms and conditions, the parents (and their legal help) both present their side of the custody
issues to the court and the court makes the final agreement.
To begin with, parents should understand the different types of custody they can have. Sole custody is when the children
live primarily with one parent and visit the other parent. There is also physical joint custody, where the children live
with both parents equally, and legal joint custody, where the parents are both responsible for making legal decisions for
the children. Parents can have a sole physical custody situation with joint legal custody, or joint physical and legal custody.
This latter type is generally referred to as a joint child custody agreement.
To make the decision about custody, parents should consider the needs of their children. If the children are adaptable,
have close relationships with both parents, the parents live close to each other, and it is possible to have many switches,
a joint custody arrangement may be the best. If the children need more stability and do better if they stay in one home,
that parent should probably have physical custody and the children visit the other parent. Other factors to consider about
custody include: the child's age, temperament of the children, the work schedules of both parents, the cost of maintaining
two homes for the children, if there are other children in the house that the kids are close to, etc.
Once the parents decide the type of custody, they can create a custody
and visitation schedule. This is the focus of many custody agreements. For the base of the schedule, the parents should
come up with a schedule of custody for a number of weeks (from one week to one month is the typical time). This schedule
then repeats throughout the year. For example, the parents have a two week schedule. They alternate weekends and the non-custodial
parent has two visits a week. They would put this schedule in for two weeks and repeat it throughout the year. Once the foundation
is set, the parents should go through and divide up the holidays. The holidays should be distributed equally to both parents
(and the holiday schedule takes precedent over the repeating cycle. So, if a parent has the holiday weekend of Labor Day,
they get that weekend even if the other parent was originally assigned that weekend). Holidays are generally switched every
year. The parents can also add in vacation time and special events into the schedule.
The other big part of the custody agreement is parenting provisions. The mother and father need to think very carefully
about any stipulations they want legally binding. It's important to remember that anything not in the agreement isn't a rule
either parent has to follow. So, if a parent wants to be notified if the other parent moves, they need to put that in the
agreement. Parents can also add a provision that states there is no negative talking about the other parent in front of the
children, or that the children are required to wear seat belts in the car at all times.
Because the agreement is so important in any custody case, parents should make it a priority and try to get what they
want. Once the agreement is accepted as a custody order, it can be difficult to get changes made--so parents should try to
get it right the first time. Hopefully parents can work together to create a schedule
that is the best for the children and that both the mother and father like. Then the custody situation will work out
and everyone will be happier.
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