Steps for Making Parenting Plans
When parents divorce, one of the most important things for them to do is to create a parenting plan. A parenting plan,
often called a child custody agreement,
is the plan that outlines how the parents will divide up the responsibilities of caring for the children. The plan should
include a child custody and visitation schedule which names the custodial parent and the terms of custody. It should also
have a holiday schedule, a plan for special events, information about child support, and any other provisions or stipulations
that the parents want to include. Once the plan has been made, the parents submit it to court and it becomes the child custody
order. This means that the plan is a legal document and
the parents are bound by law to obey the terms and conditions it contains.
The best way to create a parenting plan is if the mother and father can sit together and make the decisions about custody
that will be the best for the children. When this doesn't happen, the parents end up in a bitter custody battle that is fought
by their attorneys. If the parents can't agree on a plan, the custody court will listen to the reasoning of the mother and
father and then create the parenting plan that the parents must follow. Parents are generally less satisfied if the court
dictates the terms of custody than when they make the plan themselves.
To begin the process of making a parenting plan, each parent should think about what type of custody situation would be
best for the children. The mother and father should sit down together and talk about the viable options. It's vital that
the parents stay focused on the custody issues and not stray into issues about the divorce or other problems. Bringing up
arguments about another subject is a surefire way to be unsuccessful while making the parenting plan. The first thing to
decide is what parent the children will live with. In making this decision, parents should try to let their children stay
near their friends, live in the same school district and attend the same school, and stay in a familiar place. They should
also take each individual child's needs into consideration. Parents may choose to have the children spend the majority of
time in one parent's home and visit the other parent, or the mother and father may choose to have a joint custody situation
where the children live with both.
Once the mother and father decide where the child will live, they can come up with a repeating cycle of custody and visitation.
There are many ways to set this up. For example, they can have the children live one week with the father and the next week
with the mother. This cycle then repeats through the year. The parents can set up a cycle from one to many weeks. The visitation
time should work for both parents and the children. The mother and father should decide how the child will be transported
to visitation and where the visits will take place. The parents should write out the repeating cycle of custody and also
apply it to a calendar and include both in the parenting plan.
After the basic schedule of visitation is
set up, the parents should divide up the holidays. Each parent should get about the same number of bigger and smaller holidays
with the children. The length of the holidays should also be determined. For example, Thanksgiving may mean the entire weekend
or just the day. Parents can also share the holidays between them if that works. Parents can switch holidays every year to
make it fair.
Within the parenting plan should be information about when and for how long the parents can take the children on vacation.
The parents should also make plans for special events and times when the schedule will change. If the child participates
in a sport, and may have games on visitation night, the parents can plan for this.
The last thing parents need to discuss about their parenting
agreement is any parenting provisions or stipulations they want added. They could add a provision that neither parent
says negative things about the other parent while the children are present. Or, that the parents are required to notify the
other parent of a new address and telephone number. Parents can decide that both parents have to give permission for a child
to participate in an extra-curricular event. Anything that a parent wants the other parent to do should be included in the
part of the plan.
Parenting plans are a good way for a mother and father to get their custody situation under control. If both parents are
willing to work and compromise, they can come up with something that will help and benefit the children. A parenting plan
that contains all of the information listed above will be complete and be a good foundation for the continuing years.
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