Divorce Recovery Suite
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You will begin the process with the proper divorce papers and forms, whether you plan on using an attorney or you are completing the divorce without counsel (Pre se or Pro per). Moreover, if there are children from the marriage, you will be required to submit a Parenting Plan to the court.
Do everything you can to complete a plan with your ex early on. You want to avoid letting the court issue a cookie-cutter plan of its own. Become familiar with the topics below.
Click on the topics below. They open and close like an accordion.
Q. Do Connecticut Family Courts allow the divorcing parents the ability to make their
own parenting time schedules for both after the separation and after they are divorced?
A. Actually, Connecticut divorce laws make it possible for parents to create a Parenting Plan, Child Custody Agreement and a Child Visitation Schedule. If the parents are unable to agree on shared parenting or shared custody, the court will impose a plan.
Q. What's the difference between legal custody, physical custody and joint custody in the divorce statutes I read?
A. Connecticut defines legal custody as pertaining to decision-making and physical custody and has to do with where the child lives. Sole legal custody is defined as one parent makes all the major non-emergency decisions for the child. Joint custody is shared physical custody where both parents care for the child. The state defines joint custody as: legal custody of the minor child to both parents, providing for joint decision-making by the parents and providing that physical custody shall be shared by the parents in such a way as to assure the child of continuing contact with both parents.
The court may award joint legal custody without awarding joint physical custody where the parents have agreed to merely joint legal custody.
 Worried about a custody battle? Don't be blind sided by your ex. Learn the facts by owning a complete Child Custody
Library on the best strategies for winning or keeping child custody. |
Q. Can a child state a preference as to which parent he or she wants to live with? And how does child support work then if the child relocates?
A. Some states set the age when a court will consider the wishes of a child- Connecticut does not have such an age. Courts are free to consider a child's request, or not consider it. The matter should go back before a judge to change who pays support to whom.
Q. What does "in the best interest of the child" mean in Connecticut?
A. The Courts are to form their decisions so that they consistently place the children's best interests ahead of those of the parents.
Q. Will we need to create a Parenting Plan?
A. Yes, both you and your spouse will agree to a parenting
plan (what times you each have the children), or the Court will create one of its own plans. You two can agree and if
the arrangement complies with 'best interests of the child' and other laws, the court could okay it. The Family Court will
create a plan if you cannot agree to shared custody with your spouse. 
Q. When parents fight over child custody, how does the court decide?
A. Best interests of the child prevail. The court will usually consider what each parent wants, what the child wants (if the child is old enough and/or mature enough), which parent has been the primary caretaker, the parenting skills and abilities of each parent, the attitude toward co-parenting, the likelihood the custodial parent will place a high priority on co-parenting and whether there is a history of abuse.
Q. How do I establish that I am the father of my child? I also want to pay child support but the mother of my child refuses to even speak with me?
A. If you are married to the mother at the time the child is born, you are presumed to be the legal father. If you are not married to the mother, you and the mother can file an acknowledgment of paternity to establish your paternity. This form may be completed in the hospital when a child is born, or at the local state Department of Social Services office. Only once paternity has been established are you considered the legal father of the child. If you are unable to file an acknowledgment because of the mother's refusal to cooperate, you can file a petition with the probate court in the town where the child resides to establish your paternity. It sounds like you need an attorney.
Q. When does the paying of child support end in this state?
A. Termination of Connecticut child support occurs at age 18, or when the child turns 23 if enrolled full time at a post-secondary educational institution.
Q. What does the court look at when they decide who gets custody, or whether custody should be changed to the other parent?
A. To serve the best interests of the child and provide the child with the active and consistent involvement of both parents, the court considers:
- the temperament and developmental needs of the child,
- the capacity and the disposition of the parents to understand and meet the needs of the child,
- the informed preferences of the child,
- the past and current interaction and relationship of the child with each parent, the child's siblings,
- any manipulation by or coercive behavior of the parents,
- the ability of each parent to be actively involved in the life of the child,
- the child's adjustment to his or her home, school and community environments,
- the length of time that the child has lived in a stable and satisfactory environment,
- the mental and physical health of all individuals involved,
- the child's cultural background,
- whether the child or a sibling of the child has been abused or neglected.
Q. My wife claims she will move out of state right after the divorce. Can she do that legally?
A. Your wife must notify the court if she plans to relocate your child. If relocation would have a significant impact on an existing parenting plan, the relocating parent must bear the burden of proving, by a preponderance of the evidence, that (1) the relocation is for a legitimate purpose, (2) the proposed location is reasonable in light of such purpose, and (3) the relocation is in the best interests of the child.
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Download Connecticut Divorce Forms
[Based on Connecticut Statutes 46b-56, a,b]
Q. What does it mean when someone gets a marriage annulment?
A. In Connecticut, an annulment is a decree that the marriage was void when it took place, meaning that the couple was never legally married in the first place. A court may declare a nullity, meaning the marriage never took place.
Q. Is an annulment easy to get in Connecticut? What's involved?
A. Annulment in Connecticut is a complex legal matter, in part because the grounds for annulment are found in a number of different statutes (laws), as well as in what is known as common law. One files for an annulment much as you do a divorce.
Q. What are the grounds for getting a marriage annulment in Connecticut?
A. They are:
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- Bigamous marriage,
- Consanguinity or affinity (marrying someone too closely related),
- Defects in marriage ceremony,
- Duress or undue influence,
- Fraud,
- Incompetence—mental or physical,
- Misrepresentation, concealment,
- Being Underage.
To receive an annulment, you must petition the court and be prepared to present evidence that supports your ground(s) for annulment. Cheating or abuse are not grounds for an annulment.
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[Based on Connecticut Statutes 46b-40]
Q. What factors do state laws use to base CT child support on?
A. State laws specify the following factors when considering child support: the financial resources of the child, the occupation and earning capacity of each parent, the amount and sources of income for each parent, the relative financial needs of the parents, the estate and needs of the children, and the relative financial needs of the parents.
Q. How much child support do non-custodial parents pay?
A. Connecticut divorce laws mandate the following amounts be paid from NET income to the custodial parent: one child 20%, two children 25%, three children 30%, four children 35%, five children 40% and six children 45%.
Q. What do I do if my former husband does not follow the child support orders of the Court? He paid while we were separated but since we've been divorced nothing!
A. If your former spouse is not following the orders of the Court paying child support, you can file a contempt motion to enforce the divorce decree. It is a contempt of court violation if he fails to pay, and penalties can be severe, including losing his driver's license, having assets attached, or jail time.
Q. I keep seeing Connecticut divorce laws and Connecticut divorce statutes. What's the difference?
A. Semantics, really. They both refer to Connecticut divorce laws on the books. These were passed into law over time. A link to them is located in the left margin.
| Worried about a custody battle? Don't be blind sided by your ex. Learn the facts by owning a complete Child Custody
Library on the best strategies for winning or keeping child custody. |
Q. Is there a connection between payment of child support and visitation? Can I withhold visitation until he has caught up on his obligation?
A. There is no direct connection between child visitation and payment of child support. Withholding visitation because he is late would be contempt of court and subject you to sanctions, penalties or worse. Refusing visitation because he is behind is in direct violation to Connecticut divorce laws.
Q. Where do I go if I want to start the process of child support from the children's father, but I don't have a lawyer? Will the state help me? Do payments go through the state or directly to me?
A. Contact The Bureau of Child Support, a division of Connecticut’s Department of Social Services. BCS charges ( on a sliding scale ) a fee of about $25 to apply for services. The court can order that payments be made through the State system.
Q. The baby's father is nowhere to be found, and he should pay child support for his child. Who do I contact to get the ball rolling to locate him?
A. Contact the BCS (Bureau of Child Support) as stated above. They will assist in locating him, establish paternity, collect and distribute payments to you.
Q. I'm the Father and can't afford my court ordered child support payment, and still survive financially. Can I send less until things get better?
A. You certainly can send less, and your ex may even be okay with that, but if there is an income order in place you are violating that order in all likelihood. If your ex agrees to take less for awhile, get something in writing from her agreeing or waiving any shortage you build up. She can come back later complaining you are in child support arrears, so with any agreement - get it in writing.
Q. Will the Child Support Enforcement Program help me collect what is owed by my ex?
A. Yes, the CSEP will guide you, and will go after him. Contact them for assistance.
Q. Does Connecticut divorce law allow me to receive child support and/or alimony before the divorce is final?
A. Yes, persons may petition the court for temporary or permanent child support and/or alimony. Your marriage separation should not affect your ability to live and survive.
Q. How is marital property settled, or divided? Is a separation agreement necessary?
A. Essentially if you and your spouse can't agree on a divorce settlement, the court will step in and divide the assets fairly in an "Equitably Distributable' manner. You will be given an opportunity to craft a separation agreement with your divorcing spouse. If that fails, the court will impose conditions.
Q. I'm feeling a need to speak with a divorce lawyer about stuff but don't have any money for fees. Any suggestions?
A. Fortunately you have two choices. Check with the Bar Association and explain your situation and they'll help, or contact Legal Aid.
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[Based on Connecticut Statutes 46b-215a] | Connecticut uses the Income Shares Model for support
Q. Does Connecticut make provision for a legal separation in
this state?
A. Yes, one may file for legal separation, and the petition must include resolution of all matters including child support, spousal support, child custody, a parenting plan, agreement on asset and debt division. You will remain married, however.
Q. What issues does a marriage separation resolve?
A. Connecticut Family Laws mandate that support of a spouse, children, and disposition of assets must be detailed, leaving the couple able to live separate lives in all ways except the legally 'married' status.
Q. My husband and I want to preserve the health benefits that cover each of us but live separate lives. Can we do this? What do we need, a legal separation? An Annulment?
A. Legal separation is sometimes pursued when one of the parties wants to stay married for religious reasons, wants the advantage of deductibility of spousal support payments for income tax reasons, wants to maintain various insurance coverage's, or do not want to wait the state statutory waiting period for termination of marital status. Connecticut divorce statutes permit this. An annulment is for void or voidable marriages-marriages that should never have taken place which is not your situation.
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[Based on Connecticut Statutes 46b-40]
Q. What does it mean in Connecticut to reach a divorce settlement?
A. A divorce settlement in CT is the opportunity for a divorcing couple to divide their marital assets and debts without any outside interference. In a separation or divorce, you'll arrive at a settlement, or the court will do so for you. Connecticut offers the parties the opportunity to craft a settlement agreement before any intervention.
Q. What does it mean that Connecticut is an equitable distribution state? Is that about dividing marital assets before the final divorce decree?
A. Equitable distribution in divorce law is the method by which a court (judge) identifies marital assets and divides them fairly and equitably, and not necessarily equally. The judge will set aside any extra marital property and divide the marital property fairly.
Q. What factors do judges consider when they determine a divorce settlement prior to issuing the divorce decree?
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A. Connecticut courts may consider:
- The length of the marriage,
- The cause of the the legal action,
- The age, health and station of each party,
- The occupation, amount and source of income of each party,
- The vocational skills and employability of each party,
- The estate, liabilities and needs of each of the parties,
- The opportunity of each party for future acquisition of capital, assets and income; and,
- The contribution of each party to
the acquisition, preservation or appreciation of each party's estate weighs into the courts judgment.
Q. My husband wants to offer me a divorce settlement from his retirement accounts (401(k), IRAs, etc) using a QDRO, but I suspect the offer is very low. Is there somewhere I or we can go to get a fair valuation and distribution?
A. You have two choices. You can have your divorce attorney prepare a proposal (they usually hire an outside, third-party for an evaluation) at significant cost, or you can get your soon-to-be-ex to agree to an accurate but affordable method using The QDRO Desk software.
Q. Is the settlement from retirement accounts money that I can use to pay my expenses after the divorce?
A. Once the retirement assets are released, they must be transferred to a retirement account in your name. Retirement distribution laws apply to these monies too. You must be 59 1/2 years old to distribute from your retirement accounts to avoid an early distribution penalty of 10%. Any distributions are subject to regular income tax rates whether the early withdrawal penalty applies or not.
[Based on Connecticut Statutes 46b-81]
Q. How do the Connecticut courts treat alimony or spousal support?
A. Connecticut allows for alimony to the dependent spouse. It can be temporary or 'permanent', with termination coming upon death, remarriage or in some cases cohabitation.
Q. Any truth to the notion that we have to have been married at least 10 years for me to receive alimony?
A. There is no hard and fast rule in Connecticut pertaining to 10 years. We've seen marriages of less than 10 years get alimony and ones greater than 10 years NOT get alimony. Most judges are guided by case law with alimony. Ten years married is viewed by some judges as benchmarks, so a marriage of considerably less time may not realize any spousal support. See our divorce discussion on separation. In order to qualify for an ex-spouse's social security benefits later on, one must be married for at least 10 years. You might consider delaying the divorce until you get your 10 years in.
Q. What conditions must be present for me to ask for a modification (upward) of spousal support?
A. Sec. 46b-86 explains that you can file for a modification of an alimony order if your request amounts to at least 15% more than you currently receive, and that the circumstances for your ex have improved enough to warrant that increase.
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[Based on Connecticut Statutes 46b-82]
Q. Do Connecticut Family laws make the presumption that joint custody is in the best interest of the child?
A. Yes, Connecticut laws stipulate that unless there is evidence that a child is in harm's way, joint custody will be preferred.
Q. If one gets awarded sole legal custody, does that mean the custodial parent can deny visitation?
A. No, visitation cannot be denied by the custodial parent.
Q. What are my options if my ex refuses to allow me my court-ordered visitation?
A. You may take her back to court, although this costs money you can't always get back (you can ask the court to order that your ex must pay though). In rare instances physical custody can change with a contempt of court like this.
Q. What can we expect if we cannot agree to a parenting plan, and the court has to provide one?
A. The court will impose a standard visitation schedule, which will likely include alternate weekend visitation (3-day weekends included), mid-week visitation (not overnight), sharing of the children during periods of school recess -winter, spring and summer, New Year's Eve, Easter, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, Thanksgiving, and Christmas with one parent or the other in alternate years, Father's Day with Father, Mother's Day with Mother, alternate years on the children's birthdays, and open communication by phone and computer.
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[Based on Connecticut Statutes 46b-56, a,b]
Q. What are the grounds for divorce in Connecticut?
A. Connecticut provides the following grounds for divorce and termination of the marriage:
- The marriage has broken down irretrievably,
- The parties have lived apart for at least eighteen months,
- Adultery,
- Fraudulent marital contract,
- Abandoned and neglected duties for more than one year,
- Seven years' absence without any contact,
- Habitual alcohol or drug use,
- Intolerable cruelty,
- 1 year prison sentence, and confinement to a mental hospital.
You can both agree (stipulate) that the marriage has broken down irretrievably, and if done in the presence of the court, the court will accept it. If you have also submitted a parenting plan agreement concerning the custody, care, education, visitation, maintenance or support of your children, the court may enter a decree dissolving the marriage (or grant a legal separation if that was the basis of the petition).
[Based on Connecticut Statutes 46b-40]
Q. How long must one reside in this state to meet residency requirements
to file for divorce here?
A. One must have resided in Connecticut for 12 months or more. Those serving with the armed forces will, if their entry into the armed forces was as a Connecticut resident, retain that residency regardless of where they now reside.
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[Based on Connecticut Statutes 46b-44]
Q. Is there any kind of waiting period?
A. Courts will wait at least 90 days from a filing to grant a dissolution (divorce).
Q. I've heard Connecticut prohibits getting remarried before six months has passed since the final divorce decree?
A. To our knowledge, no law exists in Connecticut to substantiate that. Then again, since the divorce is still fresh, why not take it slow? What's the rush?
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[Based on Connecticut Statutes 46b-67]
Q. This marriage may be salvageable. He keeps mentioning divorce but I think
the divorce talk is all bluster. Is there mediation or counseling available in Connecticut?
A. It's available, yes. The court may order both parties to submit to mediation or conciliation at their own expense if the court finds that that approach is prudent. Speak with your attorney. If you are pro se (doing your own divorce), request from the court an order for mediation or counseling.
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Court-ordered parenting education program
The court can order any party to an action of divorce or separation whenever a minor child is involved unless:
- the parties agree and the court approves not to participate in such program,
- the court determines that participation is unnecessary,
- the parties participate in a comparable parenting education program.
[Based on Connecticut Statutes 46b-53a, 46b-69b]
Q. Do grandparents have any visitation or custody rights in this state? Can
they enter my divorce proceedings and petition for visitation?
A. Yes, Connecticut and Federal laws allow grandparents to petition the court for visitation. Custody is another thing. One must have had a grown child die or have that adult child be imprisoned or been ruled incompetent to be in a position to gain custody. Divorce laws are tricky here. See an attorney.
Amended Connecticut statutes now state that visitation can be granted to any person, rather than just grandparents. However, the bar is set fairly high for any person to be eligible to petition for visitation. Grandparents are permitted to join a suit for visitation brought by their child but are precluded from bringing an action for visitation on their own, unless those grandparents have fulfilled a parental role and must contend that denying them access would cause "actual, significant harm".
Grandparents must provide evidence (to support their petition) that must be "clear and convincing" in order for an effort to be successful.
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[Based on Connecticut Statutes 46b-59]
A Word On Your Journey Toward Healing And Recovery ...
At some point in the process, you will likely discover that you will not be able to manage the divorce recovery all by yourself. If you are a man, you are apt to bury the hurt and anguish and force yourself to Move On. However, unresolved feelings are just that- unresolved, and are likely to become issues later on. If you are a woman, you will feel the process more, and likely will experience a feeling of loss while feeling lost. We recommend you spend time discovering why things worked out as they did, so that you grow with the new knowledge. We offer a myriad of tools that can get you to the other side. The more you learn, the less you fear. Trust us on this. Spend some time and a few bucks and the return will be ten-fold.
Arm yourself with Child Custody Strategies, begin an on-line Parenting Plan and download Divorce Forms. Begin TODAY.
