They say Virginia is for lovers. It's also for marriages gone bad, in no more or less degree than any other state. Don't despair, though. We promise that it gets better. Really. Take a deep breath. If nothing else, we'll give you some answers and ease your anxiety. If you're having a tough time coping, perhaps you should view this page first.

Child Support

Virginia divorce laws permit courts to make child support decisions and orders based on relevant information submitted to them. Rulings are made in Virginia in much the same way they're made in many states; that is, only the basic facts are considered and many important factors and expenses just don't factor into the equation. Virginia family laws dictate that courts look at what you earn, what your spouse earns, how many children you have and how the children's time is divided by the two households. Largely ignored by the courts, one's expenses for housing (rent or mortgage), any extracurricular expenses for the child, and how it all impacts the parents. The courts appear to be insensitive to the non-custodial's burden of funding two homes. Despite being required to complete lengthy income and expense forms, the courts really don't take much if any of the information into account when rendering a decision. Medical insurance for the children however, is required. The state's divorce statutes specify that the higher wage earner pay for medical coverage as part of child support.

• Virginia Office of Dispute Resolution
• Virginia Child Support Calculator
• Virginia Sexual and Domestic Violence
• Virginia Bar Association
• Virginia Division of Child Support Enforcement
• Virginia Divorce Laws
• State Fact Sheets for Grandparents and Other Relatives Raising Children

Virginia divorce statutes require that support amounts be calculated on 'gross' income rather than 'net' income. This effectively transfers more money to the custodian (leaves the non-custodian with less to get by on) than if it were calculated on a net basis. Virginia is one of 29 states that calculates support in this manner .Courts may order child support to be paid retroactively to the time the petition was filed, so it's always best to pay a fair amount of child support as soon as the one parent separates from the marital home. You are advised to consult with an attorney if you are still in the marital home and are considering moving to another residence. Courts can and do consider the person leaving a home as abandoning the 'family'. The best advice is to stay in the marital home until you have spoken with a divorce attorney.

The court will have the authority to order a party to provide health care coverage for dependent children if reasonable under all the circumstances and health care coverage for a spouse or former spouse.

This state is similar to other states in their capability to enforce child support obligations. Virginia divorce statues permit the state an arsenal at its disposal. It has the ability to seize income tax refunds, garnish wages, place liens on property, suspend licenses, seize assets and attach property.

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Child Custody

The court operates under the principle of the best interests of the child. All reasonable efforts will be made to assure minor children of frequent and continuing contact with both parents and encourage parents to share in the responsibilities of raising their children.

At least outwardly, there is no presumption awarding child custody to one parent in favor of the other. The court has the ability to award custody in unconventional terms (to the father) upon evidence that the best interest of the child would be served. The court may award joint custody or sole custody.

In determining best interests of a child for purposes of determining custody or visitation, the court may consider the following:

»The age and physical and mental condition of the child
»The age and physical and mental condition of each parent;
»The relationship existing between each parent and each child

»The needs of the child, giving due consideration to other important relationships of the child, including siblings, peers and extended family members;
»The role which each parent has played and will play in the future, in the upbringing and care of the child;
»The propensity of each parent to actively support the child's contact and relationship with the other parent. Special care is given to determine if either parent has unreasonably denied the other parent access to or visitation with the child to the other;
»The relative willingness and demonstrated ability of each parent to maintain a close and continuing relationship with the child, and the ability of each parent to cooperate in and resolve disputes regarding matters affecting the child;
»The reasonable preference of the child, if the court deems the child to be of reasonable intelligence, understanding, age and experience to express such a preference; Any history of family abuse.

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Visitation/Co-Parenting

The parties to a dissolution (divorce) or separation have the opportunity to agree to a visitation schedule which includes the details of the non-custodial parent's time with the children. If the parties cannot agree, the court will impose a visitation schedule that will likely include: alternate weekend visitation (3-day weekends included), mid-week visitation, sharing of the children during periods of school recess -winter, spring and summer, New Year's Eve, Easter, Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, Thanksgiving, and Christmas with one parent or the other in alternate years, Father's Day with Father, Mother's Day with Mother, alternate years on the children's birthdays, and open communication by phone and computer.

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You may wish to get very detailed in the visitation schedule about what is acceptable and what is not. Consider the following: How is the decreed custody defined? What are the rights and responsibilities? Who has legal custody? Which holiday does the child spend with you? What time and where may the other parent pick the child up? What time should the child be returned home? What is the procedure to follow if either of you are running late and won't be there on time? How much notice should you be given if they are planning a vacation? How far away may the other spouse move? What about future partners? Should those partners stay overnight in front of the children?

Be aware that you have to guide your side of the divorce. Don't rely that your attorney will think of everything. You set the course; your lawyer navigates. If you anticipate any problems with custody or visitation, we suggest you own Child Custody Strategies.

Alimony/ Maintenance/ Spousal Support

A request for alimony (maintenance) will be considered by the court after examining the specific facts surrounding the marriage. The receiving spouse must be alive in order for an "estate" to receive alimony. Courts in Virginia are nor allowed to award alimony (or maintenance to the estate of a deceased person.

In Virginia, if a ground for divorce can be proven against the spouse seeking alimony, such alimony can be denied unless, the court determines from clear and convincing evidence that a denial of spousal support and maintenance would constitute an injustice, based upon the respective degrees of fault during the marriage and the relative economic circumstances of the parties.

The court, in its discretion, may decree that maintenance and support of a spouse be made in periodic payments, lump sum payments, temporary alimony or any combination thereof.

You may realize that we all need some help processing all this angst. The help can come in the form of friends, relatives or professionals. If you're not inclined to approach family or friends, and unwilling to pay for professional counseling, the next best step would be educating yourself, through reading. This site has a Bookstore sponsored by Amazon.com where you can find some fabulous books on just about every consideration surrounding divorce. Spend some time and a few bucks to help yourself get through this nightmare in one piece.

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Grounds For Divorce

The grounds for divorce in the Commonwealth of Virginia are: 1. For adultery; or for sodomy or buggery committed outside the marriage; 2. Where either of the parties subsequent to the marriage has been convicted of a felony, sentenced to confinement for more than one year and confined for such

felony subsequent to such conviction; 3. Where either party has been guilty of cruelty, caused reasonable apprehension of bodily hurt, or willfully deserted or abandoned the other; 4. On the application of either party if and when the husband and wife have lived separate and apart without any cohabitation and without interruption for one year.

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Marriage Annulment
Marital Annulment

Marriages can be legally terminated either by divorce or by annulment in Virginia. Divorce is the decree for the dissolution of a marriage, while a marriage annulment (otherwise called a marital annulment) is a court’s order that the marriage is void and never took place. Under Virginia annulment laws, the following are the grounds for annulment in the state: Fraud and Duress- If your spouse used fraud to obtain your consent for marriage, or you were

under undue duress when you married, you can file for annulment according to Virginia annulment laws, Consanguinity or Incest- marrying someone to closely related e.g. having sexual or marital relationship with a natural parent, child, grandparent, grandchild, uncle, aunt, nephew, niece, stepparent, stepchild etc., Same-Sex Marriage, Bigamy- Bigamy is a valid ground under Virginia annulment laws. You can receive an annulment for bigamous behavior, Impotency- Your partner unable to consummate the marriage can bring about an annulment, Underage Marriage, and Prostitution- You weren't aware she was one when you married.

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Marriage Counseling/
Mediation

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Legal Separation/ Marital Separation

Virginia does not have processes called "Legal Separation" or marital separation, which involve an agreement filed with the court. Rather, Virginia allows that a physical separation is a prerequisite to filing for divorce. Your status as "living apart" does not require any formal documentation, it means that one person leaves the marriage, and establishes a separate household, with the intention of permanent separation. To get a divorce, you and a witness must testify that the separation was continuously maintained for one year before the date the case for no-fault divorce was filed.

However, this period is reduced to six months if there are no minor children and a Separation Agreement. The Separation Agreement is sometimes referred to as a "Property Settlement Agreement." they usually are is a binding written contract settling all the issues that a court could address in a divorce case: property, debts, pensions, child support, spousal support (a.k.a. "alimony"), and child custody and visitation (a.k.a. "parenting time"). You and your spouse will submit one, but if you can't agree, the court will do so.

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Waiting Period

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Grandparents Rights

Federal law allows grandparents the right to petition courts for visitation by the grandchildren. This process can take place during a divorce or as a part of a decree dissolving the marriage. It may be advisable to initiate such a petition during a adult child's divorce process rather than after the conclusion, as a separate action may require more time and expense.

State Fact Sheets for Grandparents and Other Relatives Raising Children

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Divorce Settlement

You and your spouse will arrive at a divorce settlement of assets and debts between yourselves (and perhaps your lawyers) within a mediation framework, or the court will provide a settlement for you. Should the court impose a settlement, it will determine which assets are marital assets and which are not, and upon that determination divide the marital assets in such a way as to be equitably distributed, although not necessarily distributed evenly. Valuations of properties will be made, and can be influenced by evidentiary hearings. If it becomes necessary, the court will determine value and classify property thusly:

»Separate property is all property, real and personal, acquired by either party before the marriage;
»all property acquired during the marriage by bequest, devise, descent, survivorship or gift from a source other than the other party;

»all property acquired during the marriage in exchange for or from the proceeds of sale of separate property, provided that such property acquired during the marriage is maintained as separate property.

Did you come into this marriage owning a house? Concerned about the equity in that house that you brought into the marriage? Here's how it works generally. What you brought into the marriage is usually all yours. However, any appreciation of the house or the property value is normally treated as a "marital asset", meaning that you will likely forfeit a third to a half of that appreciation to your spouse in the divorce. Consult Virginia divorce statutes or your attorney.

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Residency Requirements

As is the case in other states, Virginia divorce statutes require residency in order for a suit for divorce to proceed. One of the parties must have resided within the Commonwealth of Virginia for at least six months.

Armed forces personnel must have resided in this Commonwealth for six months prior to having been stationed elsewhere in order for a divorce to proceed.

Upon separation of the husband and wife, the wife may establish her own and separate domicile, though the separation may have been caused under such circumstances as would entitle the wife to a divorce or annulment.

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