When Bad Things Happen
by Susan Russo

"If you want things to be different, perhaps the answer is to become different your self." -Norman Vincent Peale

Okay, if you live on earth at some point in time something bad is going to happen to you. I hate to be the bearer of bad news but it is a part of life. You may experience being betrayed, lied to, cheated on, being stabbed in the back by a friend or co-worker, viciously maligned, stolen from, attacked, lose a loved one, lose a job, abandoned by someone you love, taken advantage of and on and on.

Of course it never feels good when adversity lands on your doorstep. And, it's normal to go through a gamut of emotions that are attached to these kinds of difficulties or misfortunes. You grieve. You pick up the pieces. You get your head back on straight and you go through a whole array of different reactions.

The bottom line: you have to deal with it. And how you CHOOSE to deal with it will make all the difference in the world. Nobody wants to deal with liars, cheats, sociopaths, drunks, backstabbers, ladder climbers, egomaniacs or any other of this ilk but the reality is; sometimes you will encounter things you'd rather not even think about.

The good news is that when bad things happen to you if doesn't kill you it actually makes you a bit wiser and strengthens your character.

Oh, I know some of you say, I'd rather have my old weaker character than to have gone through this. But what you are forgetting is that, "This too shall pass." We all have to go through some "thing" and we will all survive.

Depending on how you look at what happens to you will determine whether or not you will hang on to bitterness, anger, resentment etc. or chock it up to part of life, albeit an uncomfortable part, then release it and move on.

So you may ask, "How do I let go? I can't stop thinking of what they did to me or what happened to me." Well, those of you who know me know exactly what I am going to say, you simply stop dwelling on it.

Of course, in the beginning you must deal with the ramifications of the situation. But once you sort through your emotions and deal with what's on your plate, you have to let it go.

If you want you can carry around a torch and be miserable because some unethical, selfish person has no one in mind but themselves or you can chalk it up to, "this sucks" and still go on and live a good life.

It all comes down to how you are going to look at things. Remember, it's not what happens to us in life that matters the most. It is how we choose to perceive it, how we view what's happened!

You can go dive into the woe-is-me pool of life or you can swim out to the big beautiful sea where there is so much more good in store than this one thing that happened to you.

You can choose to hold onto the toxic emotions and thoughts that accompany adversities or you can look to your blessings and the good in your life to give you comfort.

Keeping your mind focused on what is good in your life and living with an attitude of gratitude diminishes the wrongs inflicted upon you and allows you to pick up the pieces with grace and release the pain.

One of my favorite books is, "It's Easier Than You Think" by Sylvia Boorstein. Sylvia states that, "It is when we resist what is, that we suffer the most." And, an old buddhist saying is, "Pain is inevitable, suffering optional."

It's up to you to take the bull by the horns and live life the way you want. You can let someone's lack of integrity dictate your joy or you can take back your power and move on to live the kind of life you truly deserve. Your choice!

Warm wishes…Susan

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