When Things Don't Work Out the Way You Want
by Susan Russo

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." -Martin Luther King Jr.

Welcome to life. Sometimes things don't work out the way we want, but that doesn't mean your life is over. I was lying in bed the other night and was thinking, "I wish I would've had children."

In the morning when talking with my mother, I told her I felt bad and wished I would've had children. She said, "You can wish your life away if you want to." Good old mom, she always has her words of wisdom to change my perspective on things! She went on to say, "You simply start from where you are and enjoy what you do have."

I hear people say, I wish I had done this or that. I wish things were different. I wish I would've made different choices. I wish I didn't marry him/her. I wish I lived somewhere else. I wish I could do it over again. I wish I had another job. Why didn't I go to school? If only. Why didn't I? Shoulda-woulda-coulda.

You can wish your life away or like my mother so eloquently puts it, you can accept what is and still live a good life.

We all have regrets; some big, some small. But it's in learning from our choices that we hopefully don't make the same mistakes again.

Some people may say, well it's too late. I'm too old to have kids now. But, the truth is, if I really wanted to have kids I could adopt or have a foster child. It isn't too late; it's that "how" you have what you want may have changed.

The reality is that it is never too late to change things. If you want to go to school, you still can. If you want to change jobs, or get out of an unhappy marriage, what is stopping you?

Sure we can all make excuses, but the truth is if you really want something bad enough, you can make things work out, right from where you stand today. But, you have to also be realistic.

I so often hear from people that wish there partner didn't leave them. They so desperately wish things would've worked out differently. So you may say if it's never too late, how can I get them back? Or, my partner is abusive, if it's never too late, how do I get them to change?

Just like the serenity prayers states: God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.

The difference is that you can't change the past and you can't change a person. The only thing you can change is yourself, your perspective on things and you circumstances.

It may be too late to get that old relationship back, but that doesn't mean that you can't get a new relationship and be as happy as you were before if not more so.

You may not be able to change an abusive partner, but you can change whether you choose to stay or not.

Living with regrets is living in the past. It's over and done with and now we are dealing with the consequences of our choices. I didn't have kids when I could've but walking around all day wishing I had is a waste of time, not to mention that dwelling on past mistakes will bring you down. So why do it?

Sometimes things don't work out the way we hoped, but that's life. You pick up the pieces and move on. You look to the future with hopes of having what you wish for today.

Now when you are wishing for things to be different in the future you actually have a chance of your wishes coming true.

Remember, when one door closes another one opens. Don't get stuck looking back at the closed door so long that you miss out on what may be through the new door that has opened. It may be just what you wish for!

Warm wishes…Susan

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