Are Your Emotions Out of Control?
by Susan Russo

"You cannot control what happens to you, but you can control your attitude toward what happens to you, and in that, you will be mastering change rather than allowing it to master you." -Brian Tracy

There are times that you are so anguished by the pain of a break-up or divorce you feel that you can't seem to get in control of your emotions. You feel crushed. Your heart literally feels like its breaking. You're crying uncontrollably and you don't know how to put the pieces of your heart back together.

The lack of sleep weakens your ability to function when you're normal let alone when you are emotionally drained. Facing the day seems to be impossible. But, somehow you pick yourself up and get through it and you look back at the end of the day and wonder how you made it.

I call it emotional blackout. Your mind is so weighed down with the pain of your heartache that you blindly and mechanically go through the motions of performing the most simple tasks.

So how do you see through the dark veil of emotions to make any sense of how you will get beyond your heartache when all you want to do is lash out at this person who is indifferent to your pain and who couldn't care less how you're feeling?

The reality is you WILL get beyond this even if you think you won't.

First, you have to accept it. Accept that this person will never be who you thought they would end up being in your life. This person ultimately, for whatever reason, didn't want to be with you. Accepting that fact is the most difficult pill to swallow. Many times it's a blessing in disguise, but right now you can't see it.

You may not like it, you may try to do whatever you can to make them feel differently, but you can't avoid the facts. Looking at your life as if it has ended just because your relationship has ended won't help you get through your day.

Right now your focus is solely on your pain. Your thoughts are in an emotional trance and you feel like you have no control of your feelings. But, the truth is you do have control.

As difficult as it will be, each time you are consumed with these thoughts, (because our thoughts determine how we feel) you have to force yourself to say something different. Right in the midst of your tears, you have to stop yourself and say something that will shift your thoughts away from how bad you feel to how you want to feel in the future.

For instance, each time you go on auto-pilot with these debilitating thoughts, stop yourself and say, "Thank-you God for getting me out of an emotionally unfulfilling relationship." Or, "Thank-you for allowing this to end now and not five years from now." Or, "Everyday, in every way I am getting stronger. I will survive this and be happy again."

Whatever statement helps you, even if you don't feel that way now, eventually if you continue some mantra, any mantra, you will start to shift your mind away from your pain to the realization that you are moving on with your life.

The overwhelming sadness you feel can be quelled if you do the right things and take positive steps to insure healing your life from this heartache. Stay as busy as you can, accept that fact that it's over and accept that in the very near future your will be over this pain as well.

As you begin to accept the reality of the situation you will at least have a compass as to which direction you are heading. Begin to put the past behind you and stay on your journey forward to a better future.

You have the strength within you to get beyond this emotional pain. You have control of how you feel; it's all in what you continually say to yourself about the situation, so think about what you are saying.

If you do this one single thing, you will be on the path to healing and moving on. Remember, this too shall pass and the sooner you take back control of your mind, the sooner you will feel better again.

Warm wishes…Susan

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