Trust and Betrayal
by Susan Russo

"Trust can take years to build, and only a second to break." -Anonymous

Many of us know what it feels like to trust someone only to find out later; they simply weren't to be trusted.

At times there are telltale signs that the person you are involved with may have issues. Issues such as: an inability to be totally honest. I love those half truths; is it a lie or is it the truth? Oh, it's both!

Or perhaps they're sneaky and secretive. You may feel like you are always trying to get the 'real' truth out of them. You may have a gnawing feeling that things just don't seem to be right.

On the other hand, betrayal may blindside you. It may rock your world to the point that you are in disbelief. Even your friends and family are in shock. But, sadly it does happen.

Typically this perpetrator is the devil in sheep's clothes. You don't see it coming and you are totally blown away when it does.

There is nothing quite like begin betrayed by someone you love.

Betrayal is one of the most difficult situations to deal with, not only in your personal relationship; but in life in general.

Betrayal comes chock full of a gamut of emotions. The initial hurt can be overwhelming. It is not until you really begin to accept the reality of the situation that you begin to heal.

The most important factor is to understand that this is not a reflection on you. Some people may take it personally; as if there is something wrong with them that would make this person be so heartless.

Bitterness and anger are some of the effects of betrayal. But, it's how we handle this bitterness that impacts us the most.

If you don't let go of it; the only person it hurts is yourself. If you hold onto it; you hold onto someone that doesn't deserve another second of your precious time.

It's in grasping the concept; that you really don't want to be with someone who could hurt you like this; is the time you will begin to let go and move on.

The reality is: you need to take a long hard look at this person who says they love you and decide if they are worthy of "your" love.

On the other hand, you may choose to give this person another chance.

Hopefully, it will be for a chance to make things right; this takes a very serious commitment by both partners. Just keep in mind that you may possibly be giving them a chance to betray you again.

So, when betrayal enters your world, know this: You are now going to have to make a decision as to whether or not you want to remain in a relationship with someone you can't trust.

Once the trust in a relationship is broken, you can be certain that it's a tough road to get it back. This is a time where you have to decide to continue on and work through this obstacle course or cut your losses and move on.

Everyone's circumstances are different but the emotions are the same.

Life can sometimes deal us a bad hand of cards. So when you are stinging from the betrayal of someone you trusted: just remember one thing: You have to know when to hold 'em and when to fold 'em. It's your choice.

Warm wishes…Susan

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